Emotionally Focused Therapy

Emotional Freedom Tapping vs Emotionally Focused Therapy 

I want to give you a simple scenario, it’s one I use often when explaining to people just how easily as young children and we’ve all been them at one point or another, it is to be traumatised, and you may be thinking and if you are how beautiful, but you may be thinking nothing traumatic happened to me in my childhood, my parents were amazing and life was good. Let me begin. 

 

I want you to imagine if you will a mother, she’s in the kitchen, she has now 4 children all very young the oldest being 7 to the youngest who is only 5 weeks old with twins a boy and a girl of 4 years old.

 

Mums in the kitchen trying to get lunch on and there are pans on the hob, it’s the weekend and she knows in little over 2 hours her husbands mum and dad are popping in as they pass by on their way as they’re going away for a week. Eva the newborn is needing to be changed and as they have a nice enough kitchen she decides to change Eva on the island, no sooner as the nappy is off the phones going but she ignores it as she can wait and call them back, but the phone still rings till it rings off and instantly it's ringing back flustering her as Eva is in full party wiggle mode. So mums STRESSED, that very instant one of the twins (Lucy May) comes flying into the kitchen while all this is going on in absolute hysterics, crying as her twin brother has just ripped the head off of her favourite doll, expecting mum to come to her defence and rescue, screaming incoherently, mommy ma ma MAAAAAAM!! (can’t help but feel sorry for mum and the little girl here) But mums at snapping point, her heads starting to boil and heat up and she, trying to keep her cool sharply and strongly says loudly “NOT NOW NO, GET OUT, IM CHANGING YOUR BROTHER, I’LL DEAL WITH YOU TWO LATER” 

 

Just take a moment and whilst I explain something just have a think on some of the beliefs Lucy May could have made about herself and the world that day - again a perfectly innocent scenario, there was no malicious intent or abuse encountered, but just have a think on what she could have made that mean that day. 

 

From the moment you’re born till around the 6 to 7-year-old mark, children are operating in a Hypnogogic state. From the age of 0-2, they are operating in Delta Brainwaves and from 2 till 6/7 they are in Theta, again another deep hypnotic brainwave pattern. So everything seen, heard and experienced, every word good, bad or indifferent goes straight in hardwired into the subconscious. They don’t have the conscious reasoning we do as adults, those filters and being able to see things from a different perspective the conscious reasoning side of things doesn’t really sit in till around the puberty stage. What do kids always do as well? They always make it their fault, never the adults fault and internalise it.

 

So back to the Kitchen, where mums just said what she said, here’s just a few things Lucy May could have made it mean that day. 

 

  • Mum doesn’t love me

  • Boys can treat me badly and get away with it

  • I don’t get help when bad things happen

  • Im not important enough to be loved

  • I’m a bad girl for needing help   

 

Each and every one of those there will have powerful ramifications throughout Lucy Mays life and will play out with the finest of detail from her relationship with her self, in personal relationships, friendships, work and indeed the kind of work she ends up in, when you see these patterns over and over again it becomes clearer and clearer how vitally important it is to go back and clear these beliefs taken on through the mind of a child bless them and often in a heightened emotional state, the scenario in the kitchen was a threat to Lucy Mays survival, it was to her a traumatic incident, even though it wasn’t in our eyes anything life shattering, but it illustrates just how easily and quickly subconscious beliefs can be taken on and again until they are addressed they will play out in our lives in a myriad of ways including Disease, Physical Pain, Situations because on a subconscious level we are ALWAYS looking for proof of our beliefs so with that removing the trauma with Emotional Freedom Techniques and Matrix Reimprinting and installing new positive, empowering beliefs, ones that benefit you and promote health and happiness just makes sense, because if the subconscious is always looking for proof, then looking for proof of amazing things definitely takes the win over traumatic ones. 

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